Broken Angel

I have not had a chance to write. I have been so caught up in life problems that I forgot the only thing that can keep me sane is writing.

The last couple of months have been like hell. I felt like I was in a dark pit with no where to go , no one to turn and no one could help me. There is not much of a difference presently. Through my moments of darkness and defeat, I would randomly go to the park. Just sit the not feeling sorry for myself but waiting for something to happen. Something that will take me out of this start of depression and remove the pain in my heart . Random strangers would come to me and we will have meaningless conversation or some of them will open up to me and tell me their deepest darkest secrets. Bare in mind that I am still feeling depressed. When I have these conversations with these strangers I would be fully present and forget about my problems and focus and the human that I am talking to. When the conversation is over the human will thank me for having the time to listen and the good advise that I give. For a while that will make me feel happy, like I have a purpose and I matter.

I remember this other day when I was walking to the beach , full of misery. Whilst walking a guy asks me if he can walk with me and I agree. On our walk to the beach he tells me today he wanted to kill him self. I was shocked and I acted cool like I always do. As the conversation progressed he told me that somehow he know that he had to meet me and that I would make him feel better. I asked myself why is God and the universe doing this when inside I am defeated with no strength to carry on.

I continue to meet  strangers on a daily basis. Going to the park or the beach whenever I have time is my favorite thing to do. I still question myself why I meet these people? Is there a meaning behind ? Does any other human out there experience similar situations?





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